Newcomers
Bob Underwood
Box 40, St. Peters MO 63376
MANY ACTIVITIES have their own pet phrases, laws, and general truths. Sometimes the phrases can be a little crude, and the laws and truths somewhat suspect. But they're ever-present.
Aviation, whether it be the full-scale aircraft or the model version, is no different. These inescapable three (phrases, laws, and truths) flutter about at the flying field, float free at club meetings, and are a part of most visits to the hobby shop. Some are meaningful, some are fun. If properly packaged some are just the ticket for a hot-air balloon ride.
You've probably seen some of these pontifications; a number of them spring to mind.
A good one to remember is, "He who staleth, falleth!" Can't you just see it? The flight draws to an end; the approach for landing is long, low, flat, and slow! Suddenly, there is too much oil for the corn at the end of the field beckons.
Do we give it power? No, we give it a teeny, tiny bit more up elevator to s-t-r-e-t-c-h the glide. As the model disappears inverted into the corn, all we can think of is Kevin Costner and Field of Dreams.
What are the two most useless things in aviation? The air above the airplane and the runway behind it. Has your instructor told you to keep the model "two (or three!) mistakes high"? Now there's a really helpful phrase.
Then there's the "one more" statement. You know: "I'll just move the needle valve one click leaner." Oops, fired engine! "I'll just take one more flight." Oops, dead battery pack!
Murphy spends plenty of time thinking up his famous laws for us as well. To accompany the old admonition, "Measure twice—cut once," we find the laws that state that "any wing spar piece, when cut, will automatically be 1/4-inch too short." (Remember to cut the other one the same length!)
Then there's my law: "You can't cut it longer!" Funny thing about cutting—stuff just seems to get shorter.
Certain things are a given. For instance, it's a law that on the day you plan for a first flight, you will experience any or all of the following: a hurricane (named Zenda); eight inches of snow; the discovery (the hard way) of a heretofore unknown faultline across the flying site; an invasion of killer bees; or the start of World War III, during which your model is mistaken for a spy airplane.
You really don't need to worry about these anyway; when you checked your radio at home, you forgot and left the switch in the "on" position. The battery is dead by the time you get to the field! And you shouldn't worry about the fact that you forgot to turn on the radio before you hand-launched the model, because the ailerons were hooked up backwards!
It's also a law that:
- Wheel collars are designed to loosen and fall off (followed by the wheel) on the third flight.
- All nuts and/or bolts are packaged in numbers exactly one less than you need.
- All blind areas where nuts need to be placed are exactly 1/2-inch beyond the length of your reach.
- News of your airplane's demise will reach the hobby shop (or club) in 32 nanoseconds. (In fact, there are only three forms of communication: telephone, telegraph, and telling a modeler. The last is, by far the fastest!)
- The other "left" is actually "right," correct?
- Up is up unless you're upside-down—then it isn't.
- For every takeoff, there is at least one landing—somewhere.
- CA glue is designed to "fire" 1/4 second before you have the piece fully aligned.
- Hobby stores are required, by law, not to stock the extra roll of plastic covering you should have had in the first place.
- The barbed-wire fence bordering your club field is exactly 1 1/4 inches too high.
- If you build the two sides of a fuselage on two different nights, you will automatically build two of the same side.
Enough of this tomfoolery! Actually, if you think about this "stuff," it will remind you of some pretty important things you might want to think about. Then again, it might not!
Ever wonder where some of the words and phrases that we use come from? "Music wire" is a good one. I'm certain it comes from the fact that it's used in things like harps and pianos. (But just between us, I think it comes from what the modeler "sings" when he tries to bend a piece of 3/16 wire into usable landing gear.)
And what about "incidence"? If you attach the wing or tail at the wrong angle of incidence, it isn't incidental at all! And shouldn't a propeller actually be a "propuller?" And why do we let people talk about our "gas engine" when we're really using a two-stroke, glow-plugged device fueled by alcohol, nitromethane, and lubricants?
Interesting word, isn't it?
A few sanding tips
Let's throw in at least a smidgen or so of actual help for this month.
When you're down to the sanding part of a project, it's easy to mess it up if you're not careful. Very often the problem you create is caused by the sanding block you use—assuming you actually even used one!
Take a wing section, for example. If you're trying to keep everything even (whether the wing is sheeted or open-bay), having a sanding block or a long T-bar really helps. By sanding spanners with light strokes you can level out the high spots much more effectively. Be careful about "sawing" back and forth so you don't create ridges or waves. When it's close to level, I like the T-bar and gently pull it chordwise so it bridges as many ribs (or sheeted area) as possible.
Another trick with this is to run a black marker on a sheeted wing, along the top of the rib or chordwise every three inches or so. When you sand, you'll then have a visible reference to note whether the high and/or low spots exist.
Remember that, especially on sheeted surfaces, the place where the sheets are joined doesn't sand as easily as the area around it. It really helps to try and place those joints over an old solid base such as a spar. That way you can provide a bit more muscle to sand the adhesives.
A hint gleaned from Claude McCollough (an expert Scale builder) is to sheet wings with 3/32-inch material rather than the 1/16-inch that is often called for. The advantage is that you can effectively take care of those little "oops" without coming out with a paper-thin sheeting that will lack strength.
With the 1/32-inch-span, fully-sheeted, highly-tapered wing on my current scratch-built Scale model, I have silently thanked Claude for passing along that little gem of wisdom years ago.
When you are sanding, it really helps to frequently shift down the surface from one end to the other. The best way to do this is to look toward a light source with a dark area behind you. And use your sense of touch to an advantage. While you are carefully caressing the part, close your eyes; that old adage about
Transcribed from original scans by AI. Minor OCR errors may remain.
